I do not know if u still reads this..
Im feeling very lost..
Many question marks in my heart and i dun wanna keep guessing anymore..

It's the 199th day since we know each other.
I thought we are able to meet up and sort of welcome the 200th day.

But one reply from u just turn everything off. Are u really that busy? That u aren't free for the whole week. Or is it that u just don't want to. Few days ago when i asked u..u still sounded ok..but ur msg sounds so cold now.

You've said just be friends, but do u really treat me as one? I'm feeling worse off than a hi-bye friend. It's like if i nvr msg u..i will never get to hear from u. Even when in MSN, we ain't talking.

Are we even friends? Is this called friends?

U always ask me to delete all the msgs and records from my hp..I know u are afraid of things to happen..i understand. But do u know know that these are the only little memories i have left to feel from u..and u are asking me to take them away. I told u it's safe. That's because im carrying the phone with me all the time. Do u know there's another reason behind holding on to the phone with me all the time? The reason is u. I hold on..hoping everytime the phone rings..it's from u. I know it's impossible but i still do so..everyday..without fail.

I waited in vain.

I can't take it anymore. Remember the msg i sent u before u left for hongkong? Im still waiting for the answer. This has been a knot in my heart and i really want to know the answer. I really want to now why u are behaving like this when on my part, im trying all my best to make u fall back. Is there nothing for u to treasure in this relationship of ours that u can bear to let go just like this?

I just want to know the answer..a honest answer and not a white lie..even if it's the ugly truth..

did u hear me girl?

A little reflection for the past week..

I tried..
I tried not to contact her at all..
but i failed right from the start..
Because i just cant bring myself into doing that..
So i gave myself some slack..
Telling myself to just msg her once every night..
Like how i used to do so..

Because of this..all the more i realise how much i miss her..
Though i only msg her once every night..
I think of her all the time..
And i cant hold it anymore when that dreadful accident happens..
I just want to hear her voice..
More importantly..feel her love.
For she is the antidote to my sadness.

And finally i get to see her again..
Though it's a short one..
The happiness in me for that short period had definitely surpressed that of the whole week.

If only time can freeze when we are together..
then we will have eternity..
If only we are like a piece of music played from a music player..
then we can rewind and repeat the chorus which we all love to listen..

Instead, we are a piece of music from a live concert..
There cant be a rewind or repeat..

But we can still shout for encore..
If we still love the music..

Shall we encore?

Happy birthday to u..girl.

How i wish i can be there right now..
But i know i cant..i have to think of the bigger picture..
Just want her to have an enjoyable week for her birthday.
& not anything else to happen..

Many things i wanna say to her..i wanna hear from her..
but i know she's tired..

Seeing her again really liven up the week despite the bad happenings..

She's just my antidote to anything..

& i thought i can hear her voice..

I wanted so much to talk to someone..
but not just anyone..
I just want to talk to that somebody..
hear from that somebody..
and is nobody else but her..

& yea..i did hear her voice..
but it's from the video clips we took last time..

What a day..

Wanted so much to call and tell her what happened..
But she doesnt seem to be free..
Or should i say..wanted to much to hear her voice..
to at least brighten up my gloomy day..

How i wish..she can just call me the very nxt moment..saying,
"pig..are u alright?"

She's just the antidode to my everything..

Sighz..

It's not that i don't like it

It's not that i didn't want to try it..

It's just that...hmm..

In fact, anything she give..i like it..

& she knows it..

& i thought i will nvr hear from u again..

but it's always so nice to hear from u..definitely lifted my feelings.

I hold the phone closely to my heart..
Everytime it rings..
How i hope ur name appear on the screen..

Then i waited..and waited..

Too bad..the hopes are dashed.

& true enough..i miss that name appearing on the screen..